clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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