this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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