Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
