this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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