What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
