Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
