why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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