honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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