Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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