Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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