Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
