Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
