I'm gonna have a badass scar
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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