spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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