i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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