I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
