Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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