i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
