is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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