Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
