Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize