He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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