i barfeds in our rink
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize