Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
