She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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