Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
