I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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