We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize