you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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