I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
