I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
