I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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