apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
