how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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