Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
