I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
