im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
