I want to stick my p in your. b.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
