I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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