Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
