I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
