Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
