he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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