hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize