I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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