Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
