there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
