Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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