..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
