you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize