Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
