I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
