FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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