How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
