let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
