chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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