Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
