Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
