i don't like sucking hair
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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