I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
