She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
