I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
