I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
