I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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