He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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