dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize